another productive day

i'm done with my psych reading too (i mean like done with the reading for the whole quarter, so i only have to flip through my notes i took for final review before the final exam)
so ahead of schedule right now! :D
went to the lab and my PI told me I should present my work in a conference.
i was like... but i don't have anything to present yet. i haven't even started my experiment.
i told him, "i'll look it up."
and i looked it up and in one section, it says that you don't necessarily need to have results yet.
so i was like... man... what was i thinking? and the deadline is like tonight.
i'm so grateful i am ahead of schedule right now
in order to present in the conference i have write up an abstract for my project, but that would at least take one night to finish.
if i'm behind schedule, i would not even have time to type it up!!
and i just finished my abstract.
super productive! :D

and i'll be starting other homework too.
since i'll be volunteering in a science fair this Saturday and Sunday form noon to afternoon, i won't have a lot of time to study.
need to be productive!
a week til 21!!!

it's out!!

eargasmic!!
also they released the wrong remix at first but they have corrected it.

Good video "Tuesday"

love the sounds the passengers are making. they are constantly being terrified and relieved.

this song is cute, funny, and sad at the same time.


and this is just hilarious.

tuesday

reading a very very interesting article for my psych class.
it explores the cultural difference of passionate love and sexual desire.
it mentions something about Westernization of the idea of love throughout the world.
I personally think it's really true. well for the Eastern culture I suppose.
I can relate to a lot of feelings and ideas presented in the article.
like I remember I was taught that love is infatuation when I was in middle school.
but myself too has taken the Western idea of love as happiness.
aside of those, I really enjoy the individualism and freedom in the West.
I feel like the world is going to become "uni-cultural" one day. or maybe "bi-cultural," one being Western and another being anti-Western. Many cultures have been dying out and it's not stopping.
I hope I can experience all of those if I live long enough.
I like to see how the world change, I really do.

umm. and ohh it's Tuesday. totally forgot to post good video Tuesday!!! It's five minutes late now. :(
I'll still post it anyway...

my GI system is feeling weird again.

it's like i go through a cycle every week.
I feel sick during the start of the week and feel fine during the end of the week.
but I think it's under control now. taking some med for IBS.

and also I just smashed my binder for my works. one of the corner is broken
and i just started laughing uncontrollably... by myself in my own room.
i don't know i think it's really funny though.

| (• ◡•)|╯╰(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

it's Adventure time!

Sunday

did laundry, a massive laundry. had my bed sheet, pillows, and comforters washed.
and also cleaned the toilets cuz inspection is coming up.
now reading psych articles. being really productive today.
also met up with Frances last night for grocery shopping and movie.

tomorrow i'll keep studying and hopefully i can finish as much psych reading as possible so i only have to worry about the homework.

oh and 10 more days!!!!! :D till 21.

a week ago... i don't know what to do...

hey guys

so it's saturday now.
my midterm went ok. didn't feel like i'll be doing as well as on the last one but whatever.
i did my best.
and i'm being really productive recently.
i just finished my homework for 335 which is due on Tuesday.
and i also went for a haircut and did grocery shopping on Friday.
i'm so ahead of schedule right now.
oh and i'll start working on my research project next week with my new mentor.
excited to learn new stuff and explore new things! :D

i'm finally going to bed now. good night.

amazing

thursday

my body has not been doing so well this week.
I got so many work done ahead of time and i'm happy but
i've been felt like throwing up since Tuesday especially at night.
and i feel tired.
haven't been having enough sleep (8 hours+)... :(
PSYCH midterm tomorrow studying for it right now. it's going to be much harder than the last one for sure. that's why i'm cramming right now.

and 14 days left till 21!!!! :D so close!

Cyberpunk

I am in love with this genre called cyberpunk.
it's projecting a future in which I feel it would be cool to live in.
It's just fascinating to imagine where our technologies will lead us to.
The novel, Everyone in Silico, which I have not done reading yet, is also a cyberpunk.
I've recently stumbled upon quite a few artworks and they are just beautiful!
(I'm attaching a an example here; credit is given to the artists)

I've noticed a few similarities between Everyone in Silico and the artworks.
1. Cultures are mixed, as you can see from the Chinese characters and the English signs.
2. Highly urbanized environments, most of the visualizations take place in cities.
3. Single relationships, most people are not in the traditional interpersonal relationships such as marriage/monogamy.
4. Cyber themes, many concepts involve computers and virtual spaces.
5. Rebellious characters, fighting against controlling corporations and or governments.

Good video Tuesday

first an educational one!
he did a lot of awesome science videos. go check his channel out!

this one is hilarious!!
"CHECK ME OUT! ;)"

and this commercial is super adorable!

eargasm! I heard it's going to be out on Feb 25th! can't wait!

registered for my spring quarter class.

staying up late... it's 6 am now
have no class on Mondays anyways.
registered for the core bioengineering classes and i also have to take a bioengineering elective and an engineering elective.
for BIOEN elective, I chose BIOEN 457 Advanced Molecular Bioengineering
and for eng elective, I chose MSE 170 Fundamentals of Materials Science.
yay! 100 level class! I'm young again.

umm beside working grocery shopping and taking out trash today, I have been working on my lab report all day and night.
going to bed now... my brain is getting slow and stupid now.
having so much typos and making constant mistakes now.
couldn't Matlab anymore.

Sunday now

I'm finally on schedule!
caught up with all the work now.
I'll keep studying and keep myself ahead of everything, so I can utilize my time more flexibly.
Yet another midterm this week on Friday; it's psychology midterm. I'll do fine i think.
I'll just study the exam questions a bit.

umm yeh. as usual, my lifestyle is complete messed up every weekend.
it's almost 4 am now and I should go to bed.
also sometime I am just to lazy to take a shower... I'm not going out anyway what's the point.

so today i'll keep studying and also go grocery shopping and take out trash.
hmmm yeh. hopefully everything will go as planned for the rest of the quarter.
can't wait for my 21st birthday!
18 days left!! :D

I'll munch on this one...

Daddy caterpillar smacking his son in a Thai commercial. They're so adorable!!! Spicebush Swallowtails are cutest caterpillars on Earth.

Being single

remember the post i did a few months ago about being in relationship and married are both social construct?
this video just explains my idea exactly.

the sadness and loneliness single people are experiencing is because the society makes it that way.
you really don't need someone to be truly happy. you're unhappy because you feel like you need somebody and again the idea of needing someone is from the society.

she got a really good point on living your life and pursuing your goals.
I think that's the best way to live a life.
Don't just sit there and think about why you're still single or think about how to get someone so you won't be single.
Instead focus on bettering yourself mentally and physically everyday and pursue your goals.

And let chance decide whether you'll meet someone.
They'll come naturally.
Don't force it.

so there's nothing wrong being a single. You can still be happy.

a meteorite just exploded above the sky of Russia.

i'm watching videos on youtube right now.
gotta love the modern technologies the camera and the internet.
i can see the footage right away.
it'll probably be one of the best recorded meteorite explosions recorded.


this totally reminded me of the 2011 Japan quake.
I remember I was studying in my dorm room and I was just checking my RSS and saw an 8.9 quake in Japan and I knew something bad just happened.
so I went online and saw those terrifying tsunami footages.
I think it was one of the best recorded quake/tsunami.

Thursday

yet another busy day.
everything's sorting out fine.
my research is going ok too. my mentor is leaving soon and kind of have to know what to do after that. so I just had a meeting with him.
so yeh.

ummm nothing much to say.
oh wait i think i have something to say.
so I don't know if you agree with me or not but here it is
Not caring is worse than hating
if I hate something, that means I still "care about it." It's like liking something, I care about it but in a different way.
However, if I don't even give a shit about something or I totally forget about it, that's a totally different case.
and I remember utilizing this when I was in high school when I was fighting (emotionally) with people I just simply ignore everything from that person and I find it super effective.
You probably know what I'm referring to right now.
And I made this post so that means I still care about it.
but maybe next year, I won't even make a post about it because... it's just a normal day like any other but with classes full of people carrying chocolates and flowers and cards.

and I have something to confess. something not healthy.
I've been smoking a lot more frequently recently.
I found it relaxing to smoke everyday after class.
I usually smoke one cigarette a day.
The feeling, the rush, is just one of the things I looking forward to everyday (aside from being able to finish assignment quickly during the night and watching awesome YouTube videos from awesome people)
My stress level that builds up from the day just goes down as soon as I light one up.
Yup. I know it's really bad for my body probably even worse than what stress could do. but at least I found something that can help me cope with my stressful life. cheers cigarettes.

i'm seriously a different person now from few days ago

as I mentioned earlier I just started my second cycle of DAA.
my mood change is probably the result of that.
the testosterone level must be pretty high in my blood.

I remember I was feeing so tired and purposeless few days ago.
Now,
I just feel so much more motivated, energetic,
and I smile a lot more now. I even smiled to myself in the mirror.
and generally feel like life is going to be alright if I keep my work up and stuff.
For example, I'm thinking currently, "I should go to bed now and finish my psych reading tomorrow and start reading 335."

I'm completely a different person now.
and I like it!
it means that DAA is definitely working boosting my testosterone.
and it also means that if I maintain my high test level I can be positive and happy like this.
(I find it hard to rationalize right now cuz I'm all happy and shit. I think I'm kind of fooling myself and looking at the brighter side). but oh well as long as I'm feeling happy like this I'm fine with it.

i just noticed something.

so remember back at January?
I started taking DAA at the start of January.
DAA is supposed to boost our stimulating hormone thus causing testosterone to increase.
I'm cycling it so that means 3 weeks on and 2 weeks off.
I finished my first cycle on Jan 25th.
and I looked back at my blog post and found out that was when I was super depressed.
hmmm... interesting.
and I've felt quite down for a while. Last week I felt better.
I just started my second cycle (started taking DAA on Feb 8th).

I feel like DAA really has an effect on my hormone levels.
I'm not really sure but I think it's really possible.
well, i guess it's a good news that it works.
;)

Good videos Tuesday

it's almost Valentine's thought you'd appreciate this video.

also I'm in love with this song. so good.


couldn't find the original one so yeh...



and i love Onion's new series.
the hula hoop girl is still there hahaha!!

i've also been watching Rose's Let's Play The Cat Lady.
it's a really dark game but I really enjoy watching the videos!

:(

Woke up at 5:00 am and couldn't fall back to sleep.
So yeh it's almost 8:30 am now.
I'm about to wake my alarm up.


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Monday

yeh... studying like hell since the last time i went outside.
a midterm, again, tomorrow. I'm pretty much ready i think. don't really need to cram.
i'm pretty much on schedule for most of my classes.

and i have a big issue with my research lab now. cuz my mentor is leaving the lab soon and i have to figure out what i should do after he leaves... so yeh. that's another thing to figure out this week.

did grocery shopping on... umm i think Saturday. I'm losing track of time now.
and i am doing my laundry now. also just did my dishes.
while i was doing my dishes I was thinking about stuff and an RA knocked on our door and i answered.
i was kind of blanking out and stared at her and said nothing.
and then she came in and told me that the inspection would be two weeks later
and also checked how i am doing (RAs have to do this every quarter)
she asked me, "what are you looking forward to this quarter?"
and i said, "ummm.... the end of the quarter?"
haha that's a pretty bad answer but oh well.
i really don't feel like talking recently.
yeh social withdrawal, that's what we call it at least that's what i think.

saturday

so i ended up going to both the new years dinner and the birthday party.
even though i was planning on going back home and study.
but i guess it went ok not to awkward.

have nothing to talk about much cuz nothing much really happened.

it's Sunday now and gonna keep studying.

Restful sleep!

It's Saturday now and our professor just noticed us our 335 midterm score.
It turned out I did really well on it. I got 90 out of 100.
The class average is 75.
I'm like really really surprised now.
26 more days till 21!!! So close! Just wait a bit more then I'll finally become a free person.


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there went my Friday night

working on my lab report most of the night

and occasionally wandered on the Internet.

working with Matlab for the whole night is pretty interesting but frustrating some of the time.

working with Words is just awful. the pictures kept jumping around.
just finished my lab report and it's 15 pages long...

today was a good day.

went to office hours for lab report and one of my classmates ended up helping me getting the solution. Thanks J!

then went to sexuality class guest panel. it was super interesting. learned so much from intersex/transgendered/cross gender people.

after class, I met and talked to quite a few of people I know and I did NOT screw up those conversations!! YAY!!

oh and

a few of my friends have been asking me to go to their place and celebrate the lunar new year with them on Saturday (also it's one of their birthday).

but i don't really want to go you know. i don't really like socializing these days for many reasons. and i really have to work on my homework and shit.

so i just told them that i would be there for a couple of hours.

and i have to shamefully escape to my world of bioengineering.

So far so good

Just finished my midterm
It wasn't too bad. Pretty confident about half of the test. Like I know what I'm doing.
I'll at least get a 50%.


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Having sleep problems too

Typing this out in my bed now.

So yeh took more than an hour to fall asleep last night and woke up in the middle of sleep twice. The last time I woke up before the alarm goes off is like 40 minutes before my alarm time... :( and I couldn't fall back asleep... I guess I just wasted another 40 minutes of sleep.

Also I have a midterm today for bioen 335. Totally didn't study for it at all. I don't know what to study anyway. I'll just see how it goes.

And umm haven't been going to my research lab for a while. But I need stuff to do I can't just go there and sit around doing nothing.

Oh well. Sigh.


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I don't know what's happening to me recently

I had a pretty bad night yesterday.
Felt nauseous so I took the medication I bought from UK and it didn't work.
Maybe I was just tired? So I went to bed.
Occasionally woke up from really bad dreams and severe nausea.
So I took some deep breath and immediately felt better. And fell asleep and the bad dream just went on. And woke up again... The cycle just continues.
Finally I was waken up by my alarm and my stomach still feels weird and I still feel tired.
I guess I'm stressed? So I have bad dreams and the bad dream causes anxiety attacks which in turn make me nauseous?

And the bad dream is pretty awful. Zombie apocalypse...


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ok... i guess it's a good sign?

so I didn't really study for the first midterm for my psych class.
and just did what I've always been doing
paying attention in class, taking notes of what the professor was saying and finding out what the professor was emphasizing.
and bam! I only got 3 questions wrong on the midterm and according to the grade report I'm currently 4.0 for that class.
I'm loving it!

i'm cracking up right now

Good video Tuesday

Yay! Mobius strip!


if you haven't notice the "Thanks Obama" meme going around you should go check it out!

while i was brushing my teeth,

I think of something pretty interesting.
so humans are currently smart enough to be able to really modify selection on themselves.
our brain, which is from the result of millions of years of evolution, has become smart enough to change the course of evolution with its will.
what I am suggesting is that we have actually evolve faster than the process of natural evolution.
that is why we feel so restless everyday working and studying, because we have created a world where organisms from the natural evolution are not adapted to.
the evolution has legged behind our change.

We are currently living in age of rebirth.
Rebirth of the mankind, escaping from evolution and many more natural processes.
We are currently adapting (not naturally but artificially) to our own environment we created for example, progress in medicines and advances in communication technologies.
I hate to make the distinction between natural and artificial because the line is very blurred.
We ourselves are the product of the Nature so what we created, I suppose, is considered a natural process too. We are a part of nature that is undergoing change that is not otherwise seen in other kinds of entity on the Earth.

One day when we completely (or mostly) escape from evolution, we will be "reborn."

102. TIMOTHY LEARY: You aren’t like them

102. TIMOTHY LEARY: You aren’t like them

such a good song!

"I'm in the dark, I'm underwater."
that's how I feel all the time.

not much is going on

yeh have been sitting in front of my computer since the weekend started.
being pretty productive.
studying and doing homework.

I just submitted my scholarship application.
wish me luck!
also i forgot to tell you guys that I didn't get the scholarship I applied during the start of autumn quarter last year. so yeh... oh well.

what else... um yeh my lifestyle during the weekend is pretty messed up.
haha it's like 6 am now and i'm finally going to bed.
i am such a workaholic.
i like to get my works done before going to bed well, at least finishing a section.
gonna sleep till 4 or 5 pm.
oh i have to grocery shop tomorrow too. hopefully i won't forget that.

and my mood is getting better. i think i'm almost back to my normal mood.

ok cya!

last batch of fog photos

this batch consists of all 3D images.
enjoy!

IT'S HERE!

remember i contributed to a photography book during the summer?
the author promised to send me the book as soon as it's published and printed.
and it's here!!
:D
I'm so grateful that my work gets published.
and I really hope the readers will enjoy the book!