still feeling sick

so i have a bit of sore throat.
muscle pain
bloating
indigestion
and just doesn't feel well :/

omg i cried so many times

such a good movie...

sunday

met up with a friend last night.
and
spending my last day of spring break feeling sick is not fun :(
i'm coughing now please get better i want a good start of the quarter.
staying home right now preparing to watch The Impossible eating popcorns.
i'll probably have to watch out of my popcorn intake or else i might end up with horrible stomachache...

saturday

so yeh. i'm feeling sick :(
this happens every time when i start working out.
i remember i get sick after a week of working out during my winter break as well.
MY BODY SUCKS.
i just want to work out...

anyway, i decided not to hit the gym until school starts gonna take a two-day break from the gym.
so i walked around the campus and had a sandwich under a tree in the sun :D
the quad was crazily crowded. it's like a market or something. haha

more photos

thursday and friday

on thursday i worked out and went to bellevue with a friend and we shopped.
friday, i helped a friend with moving then i went to the gym then did grocery shopping then took out the trash then did laundry.
nooo school is starting in two days :( spring break is way too short.
also i feel like i'm getting a cold :(

Working out in the gym now

I accidentally looked at the mirror and saw myself working on my legs.
I look utterly disgusting. I'm still way to skinny. I look like a goddamn little kid.
Sigh. I still have a long way to go. I just have to keep working out and avoid the mirror at all cost except the mirror in my bathroom and dresser.


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more new photos

being creative recently. gotta love spring break. i really need more time like this :/

enjoy!

even more photos to come!

so tonight i decided to watch some let's play videos of

i watched crash bandicoot 3 let's play videos.
so nostalgic!!

wednesday

went to IMA today. worked on my arms, chest, and ab.

and oh my grade is out. i got 3.85 this quarter. :)

and not much to talk about. so yeh.

yes!! new photos!! just updated my Flickr!

enjoy! more to come!

monday

went to the gym today gotta work out as much as possible before school starts who knows if i would still be able to hit the gym during the next quarter.
and of course i still need to have 48 hours for my muscles to rest.
then walked around downtown with my friend and took some photos
i can finally update my flickr :D
then we watched Fingersmith, which my friend highly recommended.
such a good movie!

i'm gonna go for a haircut tmr and process the photos and might go to my research lab.
haha i just feel like i need a break from work you know not really feeling like rushing to place to place.

sigh our spring break is so short. just one week.
have to use my break time wisely.

oh and i made a bunch more kandi last night haha gonna give some of them to my friends ;)

and these two songs are so eargasmic!

Foundation nightclub

It's one of my favorite nightclub for now (since I've only been to one nightclub in Seattle, I can't really say which one is better or whatever).
The staffs are super nice. Like super nice you can feel the energy from them.
The music was great. I didn't hear any recognizable tracks from my playlist which means the DJ was playing his original mixes. Pure progressive at its best!
There are so many bars in the club. 3 I think? Anyway, I wouldn't have to wait in line for a drink so that's good.
Lighting was great. I really like the strobing flash.
Definitely will go back next time! :)


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Saturday Sunday

Met with a few friends today for dinner.
Then I went to a party in Foundation nightclub myself.
I had like 2 shots of vodka before I left but I wasn't feeling anything so I got two more drinks in the club.
I finally felt the alcohol!! And so I went on the dance floor and danced so hard. It has been such a long time since I danced so hard. I felt great!!

Then I came back and met up with the friends again cuz they were having party but it turned out most of them are hella drunk and it was a mess. People arguing and puking.
As a friend, I want to help him out to sort the mess out.
So I did. And there were so much drama involved. Of course I'm not part if the drama. So much drama that I didn't feel comfortable thinking about it.
And here I am sitting at his place with another friend waiting for the drunk guys to feel better.
I'm not complaining or anything. It's pretty fun to actually help people out. I love helping people.



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spring break is officially here

so the spring break has officially started. i emphasize, officially.
going to a party tonight. it's gonna be fun. haven't danced for a while! i miss dancing!
and um oh i ordered some beads and here they are. going to make some kandi over the break! :D
hopefully i'll get to make some friends with my kandi in my future rave party!

received this mail today

cool huh?
This is exactly what I've always wanted. I want to help science and health improve. I want this world to be a better place. I guess being a twin is awesome.
I'm gonna talk with my brother about this hopefully he would be able to participate too! :D

omg last night was hella fun!!

i haven't got so drunken since... I don't know... last summer?
we had food afterwards so that helped.
didn't puke or anything. but i laughed so much :D good time.

actually...

actually. i think i should just go to the ima.... cuz it's 6:30 pm only and i seriously don't know what to do.... too much time spare...

i hate living between life of "omg, am i late for something? and which homework is assigned and when is it due?" and life of "ok, i check reddit, tumblr, youtube, and facebook and there's nothing new or interesting... what am i supposed to do with my life? D:"

i just have to keep myself occupied... i guess.

tuesday

went to lab meeting today being kind of productive.

anyway, I'm gonna start working out again sometime this week. maybe tomorrow or Thursday just not today cuz my stomach isn't doing well today.
yay! i miss IMA so so much! can't wait to get my muscles pumped again!

pretty much done

so i finished my 336 paper today
i'm pretty much done with everything now even though 336 paper is due wednesday and 337 repot is due on Friday.
I'll just keep my eyes on any change to the assignments, if there is I would just update it.
so my spring break has unofficially started now :D

me wanna go party!

monday

i dont know my grade for psych 210 yet but i feel like its not going to be 4.0

i was thinking of retaking the exam that i kind of screwed up but i think I'm not going to get a better grade for that retake anyway.

so meh nevermind. too lazy to go and take another exam tomorrow. 3.7, 3.8 ,or 3.9 is good enough.

i just want to focus on my 336 project now which is due on wednesday. 

i have already finished a lab report due this friday. :D yay me!

btw i've made some new friends over these two weeks or so they are awesome.

i've been waiting for this music video

it was out last month. silly me.
it's the same as the album cover! so good.

oh you, Zedd....

haha he really did it.

deadmau5 live at Ultra right now!!!!

friday

just finished my 210 exam it went well. cuz i actually read through all the lecture notes.
and right after the exam i sold the textbooks to bookstore. i got like $138 back. i think i actually earned some money there haha.

and 335 final score is out. i did horrible. 55 out of 100 the average is like 60. oh well...

and it's friday. still have 2 papers due next week. no fun weekend.

and I'm watching ULTRA live on youtube now!!! so awesome!!! I hope I were there.

thursday

over this week,

things have changed so much.

i'm still kind of adjusting.

but didn't really have time to really sit down and think about them cuz finals and projects and papers are  due this week or next week.

i just finished my final for 335, it doesn't go so well i think.

i heard some people complaining about the difficulty but dunno if i'm in the norm or not.

i have 210 final tomorrow, so gonna spend my day and night studying for that.

and I have a project and a paper due next wednesday so gonna be pretty busy recently.

so yeh as i mentioned things have changed this week.

first, I kind of upset one of my best friends over the weekend. I was a bit paranoid that I might lose her as my best friend and I would be all alone and stuff.

I apologized and everything's fine now. 

second, I was awarded a scholarship and I'm kind of surprised about it since I've been turned down most of the time regarding academics. I mean I'm doing well in school but I just don't feel like I'm recognized or something. I guess my hard works pay off eventually.

third, this one is really really personal and I would not talk about it on the blog.

it's a totally new things to me and i'm glad it just happened.

I'll just put a big smiley face for the third one :D

yeh. i can't wait for the quarter to be over you know. it's getting a bit overwhelming now.

all the works and all the emotions and feelings.

Good news guys

I was just notified.
I was awarded a scholarship that I applied for about 1 to 2 months ago.
:D

Good vid tuesday

this is freaking awesome! i want to try it sometime!


this is hilarious especially if you understand what the Huqin players are saying.

saturday night

so i just went to my honor society's party.
it was fun. had some beer and got to talk with few people from my bioengineering cohort.

i think i'm officially over the incident.
i'll definitely try to get in again in the near future maybe during spring break or whenever i'm done with this quarter.
getting my optimism back.
i guess the world isn't that bad after all. i just have to stay strong and get my shit together.

the more i think about it the more i am hating everything including me

especially those young couples, ewww how do they even get in love like seriously. ewww.

i don't know.
i've waited for 21 years and all i got was rejection like i have not enough of that yet.

going to my honor society's party later. i hope i can at least forget about stuff tonight.
but i don't know... it's a party with a lot of socializing. i'll probably just sit in the corner and drink my beer. that's good enough for me.
oh and i got a few works done today. yay me for successfully separating my emotions and work.

saturday

i noticed several grammar mistakes and typos in my previous furious post but i don't bother to correct them.

after i got back home around 10 pm i immediately went to bed
and cried while listening to sad songs alone in my bed
and i couldnt really fall asleep until it was 3 am
I just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened.
i know i might have overreacted or been too emotional but there're also many reasons to me being like that that i don't want to talk about.

A night of thinking had turned the emotional thoughts down and the rational thoughts came up.
And this is the conclusion I made (even though there're still a few emotional components in it)
I've waited 21 years and there I was crying in my bed alone on a Friday night a day after my birthday.
It shows how worthless I really am. My life is just a joke.
Plus this world has proven itself unfair, not surprisingly, again.

but I also thought that I could not let this one thing drag my productivity down. I need to separate my work and my emotion. I still have 2 weeks to go and I still have works to do, so I still have to work and stop thinking about it so much.

I'm really really damaged. I don't think it could ever be fixed.
I'm not mad at anyone. I just don't like people anymore they're so damage inflicting.

Also there's a party tonight hosted by my honor society I think I should go because they have beer which means more drink.

have a great one your ass

so I'm finally 21 and it means nothing.
fucking shit
I'm super angry upset and depressed right now.
i though i can do anything go anywhere but that's definitely not true for this fucking world and fucking me.
so i decided to go to a club tonight, friday night to have some fun.
but when i was going in and had my id check that fucking bouncer told me that i could not go in.
i was like what wait.
but i don't want to argue cuz there's another person behind me going in too.
as i walked out and i heard them laughed and shit.
i mean what the fuck.
i'm super super sad right now and i don't want to talk to anyone and fuck this world.

i'm back home now and just going to drink by myself and fucking get buzzed and shit.
i have my own alcohol and no one can stop me from drinking them

fuck this.

my love

sweet freedom.
but don't worry guys, i hate vomiting and I support responsible drinking,
so i usually just drink a few bottles of beer or 2 or 3 shots of hard liquor.
I know my limit.

thursday.

just bought my first alcohol from grocery store!!!! one vodka and a pack of beers.
:D
and when i was walking back home on the street and i looked into the windows of the bars on the ave
i feel so proud, so free!
i can go anywhere now!

Wednesday

so today's 337 lab was not fun.
anyway, 4 hours left till I become a fully functional human or adult.
which means I finally can go to bars and clubs. and buy certain stuffs like alcohol.
can't wait!!

and now I'm listening to Spirited Away's soundtrack

so many memories!!!
forgetting about the present felt so great! Just drifting in my memories...
I love how bringing back memories can make me feel so happy. I should do this more often.


these songs are just sooooo... i don't know how to explain it... they're giving me this really unfamiliar and warm feeling. heart warming! i guess that describes it partially.

and my study break should end now.
I should start working on my final project... haha

Just watched the Cat Returns

omg. I still love it!!
I remember the first time I watched it I was still in elementary school.
It was released in 2002 so it has been 11 years!!! wow. i can't believe it's been 11 years!
nostalgic!!
plus i love cats.

Good videos Tuesday

Poor Eric.



omg she did awesome on PB!



hahaha this is hilarious.

another crazy day

yay! crazy day combo!!! At least three days in a row.
I haven't really sit down and done nothing for a while.
I guess this is good because I'm super productive!
oh and it seems like getting off from DAA has not affected my mood yet and hopefully it won't.
I was going back and forth between the lab in UW campus and the one is SLU today getting stuff from there and found out I need other stuff from another lab.
And got out of lab around 9 pm and got some food from the Ave (usually I just have mircowave dinner from the frig but I want to reward myself today for working so hard :P)
I made so many stuff today! and they're so pretty!
I can feel my legs are screaming painfully, "no more walking!"
anyway, going to bed soon waking up tomorrow at 8:30 as usual.
I'm glad I've done my homework and reading already. If not, I would not be able to spend all day in my research lab.

omg

today was crazy.
i was all over the place the whole day.
so woke up early this morning (just like yesterday) and took the bus to pacific science center.
met with my photography club people and took some photos at the science fair.
then came back home.
and went to research lab and learned how to make some stuff from a senior undergrad.
then went grocery shopping, came back and found out i forgot to buy something
so i walked all the way back to safeway...
and i'm finally back now.
i also got some med for my bloating.

i'm trying this out and really hope it can help with my GI problems.

21 and over

remember there was a movie shooting on our campus?
it's in theater now. i can totally recognize some scenes I walk through everyday.

saturday

so I went volunteering as a photographer in a science fair. it was fun. walking around and taking photos. but it got kind of boring later on...
anyway, i'm going to be there tomorrow again.
oh and i finished my second DAA cycle on Friday. It's day one without taking DAA during the morning. I felt a bit unmotivated already. we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

and yeh super busy recently. starting to work on my research project. and also have a few more assignments before the quarter ends.

as you can see i still have 5 more assignments before spring break (2 of them are kind of 60% complete)

plus numerous research stuff.

5 more days!!!! till 21!!!

oh btw guys

i had a horrible dream last night.

it was about wasps, huge wasps, each has the size of a hand.
i think i was sleeping in the dream and three wasps landed near me and crawled into my clothes.
and then i was too scared to move or do anything so i just lay there and felt those huge wasps crawling.
i think one of them stung me or bit me.
anyway, it was horrible.
it seems like i still couldn't get over my fear of bees especially wasps.
i fucking hate wasps!! they're like machines designed to torture people.

and i decided to google, "i hate wasp"
and found...
spheksophobia!!
and this,