getting better

so a made a major step last Saturday.

I came out to my parents (you probably don't know that I'm gay because I have been hiding it from this blog... my parents read my blog so yeh)

i came out to my brother like maybe 1 to 2 months ago.

anyway, i cried when I came out to them.

they were shocked and didn't really know what to say.

i took like 4 Xanax and drank like 4 bottles of beer that night.

then i went clubbing with my bf and a friend. i barely remember anything that night.

first time "blacking out"

anyway, there's been a lot of school work as well

and i'm just super stressed and depressed.

so i've basically been taking xanax and drinking every night since Saturday until Thursday.

I skipped a few classes because i was so tired and couldn't get out of bed  during that time.

it was awful.

i have stopped my Xanax which i think should do me good.

should not rely on substances you know.

i've been talking to my mom quite a lot and i'm so happy that's she been taking it well.

haven't talked to my dad since saturday but hopefully he'll take it well too

i'm so happy that they still love me and support me.

i'm still kind of getting used to this

but it will get better.

I'm going to a friend's bday party at Cap hill tonight.

then another friend's bday party tmr.

hahah oh well.... going to drink again.