Some findings

new look for my blog
hope you guys like it!
a lot of changes though...

oh and i suddenly felt like "back to high school" last night
it's been so long i haven't felt like "in trouble" :D
when your heart beats faster and legs tremble!

when i was lying on my bed ready to sleep last night
i found out that i might have some degree of SAD, or social anxiety disorder
of course not to the degree of avoiding any occasions or sweating in front of people

1. i think i worry way too much about how people view me... i always feel embarrassed...
2. and i always think way too much about what i should do or say... cuz i don't want to offense or turn off any conversation...
3. if people do say bad things about me or disapprove me in any manner, i'll think about it for the whole day... i can even think about it for days... saying to myself, "daniel, never do that again, never!"

anyway, i know that i do enjoy time alone doing all stuff by myself etc
but i always imagine myself as a guy with a group of good friends talking all day long
clearly, my expectation and my situation disagree greatly...
but i'm working hard on transforming...

and i found something really interesting from the article about SAD in wikipedia you might want to take a look

"One study found that the effects of parenting are different depending on the culture – American children appear more likely to develop social anxiety disorder if their parents emphasize the importance of others' opinions and use shame as a disciplinary strategy (Leung et al., 1994), but this association was not found for Chinese/Chinese-American children. In China, research has indicated that shy-inhibited children are more accepted than their peers and more likely to be considered for leadership and considered competent, in contrast to the findings in Western countries."

-Social anxiety disorder, from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

tomorrow 4:30 pm is chem final

i'm reading Chapter 8 now haha